Rules and Regulations
by Kurohane Ookami
Summary: He never saw them coming. A guide to the many ways of the Prowl and what best works in causing him the most misery. And for once, it's not the Twins fault! M for language.
1. Data-Pads

**So, hey all. I was wandering around Fanfiction and I couldn't help but notice the distinct lack of Prowl in the stories. Well, that I could find, anyway. Plus, I've had this idea floating around in my head since…well, I'm not sure, actually. But it has been poking and prodding at me to actually get up off my aft and post. So, that's exactly what I'm going to do. I hope you all enjoy the first installment of Prowl's Nightmares.**

**-;-**

**1. Never hide Prowl's data-pads around base. **

As most of our ideas had started out, it had seemed like a good idea at the time. After all, Prowl had almost never been seen without a data-pad or some other important document in servo. So, after much time and consideration, I decided that, hey, I only lived once. Might as well take a few risks while I was at it.

How was I supposed to know what kind of hell it would create?

**-;-**

Ellie took in a deep breath, checking around the corner that she and Jazz were hiding behind to see if there were going to be any hitches to their plans.

By the looks of things, the only possible issue that could come up would be Red Alert or Ratchet coming along, and at this late hour, that almost immediately removed Ratchet from potential threats. With the arrival of Sunstreaker, Sideswipe had pretty much been in 'prank mode' for a week. The poor mech was having enough difficulties dealing with them, so he got all the recharge that he could before the two were back at it bright and early.

Turning her head, Ellie nodded before the smaller mech offered her a servo to clamber on, to which she did gratefully. After all, she'd been sneaking around all freaking morning trying to scout out the best possible places to not only hide data-pads, but also bunker down with Jazz once everyone realized that it was their doing.

It turned out that there was a crawlspace of some kind that had hidden entrances everywhere on base. And by everywhere, she meant _everywhere_. Ellie could go wherever she wanted in half the time that it took her to walk to her desired destination. Plus, there were some nifty nooks and crannies that were even large enough to fit Jazz, though it would be a little bit of a mission in itself to actually get the mech into said small space. How was she to know that he was claustrophobic? Mind, he wasn't the only one, taking everything else into consideration. She also happened to have a nasty little problem with it too.

"Lil lady, Ah thin' we're abou' ready ta get ta work." Jazz whispered as he typed in the keycode that would grant them access to Prowl's berthroom. "Mission face on, no'."

Ellie stifled a giggle behind her hands as they entered the room.

**-;-**

**::Optimus, permission to offline the twins.:: -Prowl**

**::Prowl? What did they do this time?:: -Optimus Prime**

**::They have taken my data-pads.:: -Prowl**

Optimus couldn't help but blink his optics in shock when he heard that one. Sure the twins had been known to pull pranks on Prowl- Primus, it was practically routine- but this was not something that the twins would do. They may have been a bit malfunctioned, but they weren't about to do something that would most likely get them offlined.

**::Prowl…I don't believe that the twins were behind this.:: -Optimus Prime**

**::Who else would it be?:: -Prowl**

**::Have you considered the possibility that it could have been Elina?:: -Optimus Prime**

**::Why would she- Jazz.:: -Prowl**

**::It is a possibility.:: -Optimus Prime**

**::Hmmm…very well. I will inquire as to the location of my data-pads. Prowl out.:: -Prowl**

Optimus raised an optic ridge at the sudden organic femme sitting on his desk like she belonged there, coming to the conclusion that it had to have been her who had done it. After all, she was the only one other than the twins who would have motive to make Prowl glitch. Now that she worked with the mech, it wasn't exactly difficult to see why. Ellie wanted Prowl to try and lighten up, perhaps without the presence of his data-pads, and this was the only way that she could see working.

"Where did you hide them, Ellie?" the mech sighed, rubbing his helm tiredly.

"Hide what?" Ellie asked innocently, tilting her head to one side, green eyes gleaming.

"Prowl's data-pads."

"Data-pads? What data-pads? I haven't touched a data-pad. Besides, how could I possibly have hidden what, twenty objects that are at least three times my weight, not to mention way bigger than little old me."

Optimus could tell that this was going to be a very long conversation.

Before he could even open his mouth to speak, there came the frantic sound of someone tapping in the keycode, and a moment later Jazz had darted in and slammed the door behind him before plastering his small silver frame over the back of the door.

"Help meh, Prime! Prowlie's gonna kill meh!" he yelped, diving for the desk and clambering beneath it. "How'd he fin' out so fast, anyway?"

Optimus chuckled as the sound of an irate Prowl came from down the hall, tilting his helm to one side to better pick up on the muttered curses that the SIC was currently listing off with something akin to dark amusement.

"Well, it seems that whatever the case may be, that he's headed this way." He noted.

"Shit. Quick Jazz! To the bunker!" Ellie gestured to the back wall of Optimus' office before leaping off the desk and making a break to the wall.

To both his shock and amusement, Ellie did something behind his shelf, and a moment later both culprits had disappeared seemingly into thin air.

When Prowl finally reached the office, he cursed, knowing that Jazz had just been there but unable to tell where he had disappeared to. Though the odds were that he was with the femme that had helped him pull off the prank.

"_FRAG IT! I NEED THOSE DATA-PADS!" _


	2. Doorwings

**Yeah…I had to. I really did. **

**-;-**

**2. Do ****not****, under ****any**** circumstances, touch Prowl's, or any other door-wingers wings. **

Okay. This one was just too good to pass up. I mean, come on. A rule like that is just _begging_ to be broken. Unfortunately, it also meant that I would be on my own on this one, considering that Bee, Sides, Sunny, Jazz, _and_ Prowl were all door-wingers.

Then again…it could also mean that there's more opportunity here…

**-;-**

Ellie giggled softly to herself as she finished up her work. Man, was she ever one hell of an artist. If by artist that you meant taking a bunch of old paint and decorating the mechs' wings to match their personalities.

It also meant that she would have to find herself another hiding place, considering that Jazz was in on her little bunker secret. Maybe Optimus would be able to keep her from being squished?

Actually, the more she thought about it, the more sense it began to make to her. Optimus was the Prime, obviously, so she would get punishment for what she'd done, but it would definitely be better than getting found out and then hunted to the ends of the Earth.

Okay. So, Optimus would be her safety net.

That was all well and good…but it really depended on how quickly she could run and if none of her secret passages had been blocked off.

Whistling a cheery tune to herself, she sauntered down the hall, her paint can in one hand while the camera she'd brought with her dangled from the other.

She couldn't wait to see the results.

**-;-**

**::Prowl to Optimus…:: -Prowl**

**::What is it this time?:: -Optimus**

**::That femme has painted my wings.:: -Prowl**

**::…Did she now?:: -Optimus**

**::Indeed. Are you currently aware of her coordinates?:: -Prowl**

**::No.:: -Optimus**

**::Very well. Alert me immediately if that changes.:: -Prowl**

Optimus vented heavily and leaned back in his chair, looking down at Ellie, who was cheerily whistling a tune as she fiddled around with her camera.

"Elina…what did you paint on Prowl's wings?" he vented, rubbing his optic ridge.

"A sunshine." She blinked back, as though it were the most obvious thing in the world. "Well, that was just on the one wing. The other wing has a bunch of music notes on it."

The images that that brought to mind were amusing to say the least, but Optimus chose not to comment. He didn't want to encourage the femme now. He was supposed to the Prime, the one who led them, not joined in the madness.

…Actually, given what he was supposed to do as Prime, he supposed he had some rights in that regard. He deserved a break once in a while.

"Although that does bring some amusing images to mind, Elina, have I not told you to refrain from pranking Prowl?"

"Yes." She replied promptly. "Doesn't mean I'm going to listen, though."

Optimus resisted the urge to plant his face into the desk. Why did he even bother?


End file.
